Brenda NeckvatalManipulation at work rarely looks like manipulation. It does not announce itself. It does not raise its voice. It does not trip obvious alarms. It slips in quietly, dressed as cooperation, concern, or helpfulness. By the time leaders realize what is happening, the damage is already baked into the culture.
Brenda NeckvatalHigh-performing teams rarely collapse in dramatic fashion. There is no shouting match. No mass resignation. No obvious warning sign that everyone agrees to take seriously. Instead, something far more dangerous happens. The team gets quiet.
Brenda NeckvatalSome employees don’t just push back. They turn every conversation into a debate stage. They question every direction. They challenge every standard. They drain every ounce of energy you bring to the table. Leaders often think they are dealing with “strong personalities.” They are dealing with a pattern.
Brenda NeckvatalMost leaders are taught to coach. We’re trained to approach performance issues with curiosity, to assume positive intent, and to guide people toward improvement with patience and professionalism. And when it works, it’s powerful. People feel seen, supported, and challenged in all the right ways. But when it doesn’t work—and you’re face-to-face with someone who is knowingly playing games—leadership becomes something else entirely.